Reflection #2

When asked to do this assignment we were told to include how this information can help us in our field experience. Well... I will use this information in my field experience but I think I will use it a lot more in my home experience with my children. My favorite part in each chapter is the "skills" area. It is very informative to me to know how to best approach a topic to help children grow in whatever area we are talking about.

Chapter 4: Promoting Children's Developing Sense of Self Through Verbal Communication
     1- Positive & Negative Verbal Environment and its Impact on Children: It was really interesting to me that what a child thinks of how an adult is acting and what an adult thinks of the way they are acting, or meaning to act, can sometimes be so different. It talks about when an adult is hurried or busy and so doesn't show a child interest in something they may be saying. When this happens to a child they feel as though they aren't worth that adults time and that they aren't important. I thinks most times, not always, adults don't really mean for the children in their care to feel this way. Usually they really are just trying to get something done. But what we as adult need to remember is that that IS how the child is going to interpret how we are acting. Even if we don't mean for it to be that way, that is the way the feel about it. I know that we aren't able to be completely there at all times for our children but we do owe them the respect of asking them nicely, by looking in their eyes on their level, to wait until we are done with whatever we are doing then we can listen to what they have to say. And after telling them this, actually going to them once we are done.
     2- Using Conversations to Support Children's Development of Sense of Self and Social Understanding and to Build the Relationship: Children need to know that they are important to the adults around them. They feel that they are important when we carry on conversations with them. It says in our book "because adults represent authority figures, this clear signal of the adults respect, caring, and acceptance conveys a powerful message to children about their value." I have never looked at it that way before. Children do look up to the adults around them and when we give them the attention they need and allow them to talk to us and actually be interested in what they have to say, it makes them feel important. I enjoyed learning about the conversation stoppers. One in particular got my attention, approaches adult with a problem. I have been working on this one in my house and I will be the first to admit I have missed A LOT of teaching opportunities. Sometimes it is easier just to fix the problem but it doesn't really help solve the problem. My children fight a lot, as I'm sure most siblings do, but one thing they do is take things away from each other, than retaliate by hitting or yelling at each other. Sometimes their emotions of being so frustrated go through the roof. I found myself just stepping in and taking the toy away and separating them, but that wasn't solving anything. Yes it may have stopped the yelling for the time being but it would start up again later. So lately I've been trying to get them to talk to each other about their problems. When my daughter take her brothers toy and he comes to me screaming. I first ask him how he is feeling, then I ask him to tell his sister that (in a nice way). When he talks to his sister about how he feels when she does that and if he can please have the toy back she is much more willing to give it back to him.

Chapter 5: Supporting Children's Emotional Development
     1- Individual Variations in Children's Expressive Styles: Adults can't think of all children the same. Just as they all have their own way of doing things and learning abilities, they also have their own way of showing and dealing with emotions. Each child has a different emotional tenor, or how they handle emotional events. They differ in how often they show emotions, how intense those emotions are, how long they last, how quickly they are activated and if they are dominated by primary or mixed emotions. Some of our children may get madder faster than other, but that doesn't mean we dismiss the one who doesn't get mad easy saying "oh well your never mad you'll be fine", and the same for the child who gets mad fast. We don't say "oh well your always mad, that's just the way it is". We need to treat each child individually and respect each one for their differences and help each one know and learn how to control and manage their emotions.
     2- Appropriate ways of responding to children's emotions: When my daughter doesn't like what is going on or isn't getting what she wants, she sometimes breaks down crying. When she starts crying I have to go to and tell her "Zoe, I need you to use your words and tell me what's wrong". For the most part she tells me why she is mad or sad and we are able to resolve the situation. It is much easier to talk to a child about their emotions than it is to dismiss, ignore or any of the other pitfalls. If you are able to help them through and understand their emotions they will be much better off.

Chapter 6: Supporting Children in Stressful Situations
     1- What Adults can do to Help Children Manage Stress: I think the most important aspect of helping children with stress is knowing what your doing. You need to think before you talk, and know the situation completely before giving advice. There can be so much to a problem that we looking at it from a distance, usually don't get the full picture. We need to be mindful to those children as well as their families and be sure that what we do say and do doesn't cause more harm than help.   
     2- Pitfalls to Avoid: There are many pitfalls that you can do when trying to help children cope with stress. Some that I found interesting the skewed and inappropriate responses, and making a perfunctory diagnosis of a child's behavior. I'll start with skewed and inappropriate responses. This talked about how most of the time teachers tend to find the "problem" child and find out what the problem is and try to help fix it. They do this for the child but also because it is causing the teacher stress because that child is acting out. They end up forgetting about the child who is very quiet and kept to themselves because he/she is not causing the teacher any trouble. We need to remember that it's not always about ourselves and what makes us most comfortable. We need to be mindful of all our children and their behavior. The second pitfall is making a perfunctory diagnosis of a child's behavior. This is when a child is doing something bad and we automatically label it as being because of what ever is happening at home. We tend to forget that this problem might be because of something else as well. We can't always label what a child does and give it an excuse. We need to still help our children cope and find solutions to behaviors.
Chapter 7: Enhancing Play
     1- Categories of Social Participation: The categories of social participation are 1)Unoccupied behavior 2)Onlooker 3)Solitary play 4)Parallel activity 5)Associative play 6)Cooperative or organized supplementary play. Each of these categories is important. A child by them selves not really doing anything is ok to be by them selves. A child who is just watching the other children may be getting information for later play. Sometimes children want to play by themselves and sometimes they want to play together. Each category is important to let a child develop into. So when I you see a child just watching the other children you don't need to make them play if they aren't ready.
     2- Dramatic play: I found it very interesting to learn about the pragmatist and fantasizer. I really didn't know that there were different styles in which children play imaginatively. The fantasizer is completely into the imaginary play while the pragmatist is distracted with what is going on around them. After learning this it give me a little more perspective to those children who really want to keep playing. I used to think that, well everyone else is done you should be too. But really each child is different and I need to remember that.