Blog Reflection #5

My Top 5 Favorite Concepts/ Skills for Guiding Young Children

Personal Message:
The personal message to a child is probably my number one favorite thing I have learned in this class. It has been the most beneficial in working with children. It can be used positively as well as to  correct mistaken behaviors. A personal message is a wonderful way to get children to move from amoral to internalization self discipline. When giving a personal message you first reflect using a behavior, paraphrase or affective reflection. This allows the adult to really see and tell the child what they saw, letting the child know what the adult is seeing. It also give the adult time to count to 10 instead of just getting very upset, when really they might have missed something. The second part of a personal message is to react. You need to tell the child your emotion about what just happened focusing on their behavior. Third is to give the child the reason you feel that way or the reason they shouldn't be doing something. Lastly you give a rule if there is property or safety involved. Rules must be positive, so instead of saying "don't run", you would say, "you need to walk". Knowing how to give a personal message has made me feel able/ capable to handle my emotions when working with children at the same time as helping them.

Self Discipline:
Learning the difference between the four stages of self-discipline have really helped me know how to better understand where a child is coming from. Most of the time children just haven't learned to internalize what they are doing. They still need help from adults to know what they are doing is right or wrong. Amoral orientation is when they have no concept of right or wrong, like a baby. Adherence is when a child needs an adult or someone else to monitor their actions. Identification is when children adopt behaviors to someone they look up to. They start doing and behaving like this person. The problem is that if a situation arises and they don't know what that person would do they don't know what to do. Internalization is where we want to be, as adults and we want our children to get here too. When we get to this stage we internalize what is right and wrong and do what is right because it is the right thing to do. Knowing this makes me want to do everything I can to teach and guide children to internalize their actions.

Communicating about relationships:
How an adult communicates to a child has a huge impact on the child. By the way we as adult treat them tells them about the relationship we have with them. Time, warmth, and power tell these children how we feel about them. Sometime we get busy and don't mean to respond the way we do. Children don't have the concept of time we do. They need to know that we care about what they are doing, so if we take even just a few minutes to let them know we are listening and that they are important it will have a great effect on them. Warmth has to do with our non verbal cues towards them, our facial expressions and vocal characteristics not just our words. We may mean to say something nice but if it comes out the wrong way it could hurt a child's feelings. Adults have power over almost every aspect of a child's learning, but knowing that we need to look at how we are treating them and asking them to do things.

Reflections:
Behavior reflections and paraphrase reflections are good tools for teachers to use to let children know you are listening and paying attention to what is going on in their world. A behavior reflections is when we as teachers tell the child what we see them doing. This also helps them put words to what they are doing. Paraphrase reflections are statements of what a child has just told you. They know you are listening to what they have to say. It also helps when you may misunderstand what a child has told you. You can retell what you heard and if you are wrong they will let you know and tell you again. These reflections can be part in many different ways of talking to children and gives teachers and children the power to understand each other.

Consequences:
Positive, natural, logical, and unrelated are all consequences which teachers use. Some are better than others and each help children learn get the the internalization self-discipline stage. Teachers should use positive and natural consequences. Natural consequence don't need teacher intervention, children learn that when they do something, something bad might happen and no one else has anything to do with it, it was just what they did. Positive consequence are good because who doesn't like someone saying something nice to them. Logical consequences should also be used when the other two don't fit in. When a child does something wrong they can do it over again, rehearsal, do something to make it better, restitution, or have a loss of privilege. The consequences that should be used least of all are unrelated consequences. These consequences don't have anything to do with their action. Because it is different than their action teachers need to make sure that they have the same timing, such as, you don't get to go to centers until you hang up your coat.

Blog Reflection #4

Chapter 11: Fostering Self-Discipline in Children: Implementing Solutions and Consequences
Consequences:
It has been very helpful for me to learn the difference between consequences that increase desirable behaviors and consequences that reduce mistaken behaviors. When I first read these two titles I was very confused and thought they were the same thing. Reading more carefully through them it has really helped me know the difference and better ways to help children learn to behave. Positive consequences were something I took for granted. I have always been positive to children but learning to use it in a positive personal message. It is very important for children to hear an adult being positive with them. When they hear a positive personal message it reminds them of the rules and they have more of a desire to keep up the good behavior.
Inhibiting consequences are better consequences than punishments. Punishments are pretty much just getting mad at a child but not really teaching them what is wrong with their behavior. Inhibiting consequences are actions that help children recognize how their behavior is affecting themselves or others. Natural consequences, logical consequences and unrelated consequences are the different types of inhibiting consequences to use. Natural consequences are best because children learn without adult intervention. Logical consequences are next to use using either rehearsal, restitution or temporary loss of privilege. Unrelated consequences are not the best to use and if you do they should be linked in time to what has happened.

Chapter 12: Handling Children's Aggressive Behavior
Types of Aggression:
Accidental aggression, Expressive aggression, Instrumental aggression, and Hostile aggression are the different types of aggressive behavior. Most aggressive behavior is accidental, where children hurt someone on accident. Expressive aggression is aggression that is also accidental but happens because they are enjoying swinging something or some type of motion that ends up hurting someone else. Instrumental aggression happens when a child really wants or is defending something and their actions end up hurting someone else. Hostile aggression is when a child hurts to inflict pain on someone else. Knowing these different types of aggressive behavior lets you know how to better help reduce the aggressive behavior.

Assertiveness Versus Aggression:
Assertiveness is something we want our children to become. As they are getting there sometimes it is hard to tell if they are being aggressive or assertive. When watching children interact with each other you have to be aware of their behaviors before you say if they are being aggressive or assertive. Assertive children do not give in to unreasonable demands, stand up for themselves, accept disagreements, and try to solve conflicts. As children are learning to be assertive they may make mistakes and during these times, as adults, we need to support and help them learn acceptable social behaviors.

Chapter 13: Promoting Prosocial Behavior
Steps to Acting Prosocially:
There are three different steps to acting prosocially. First being aware that there is a need, second deciding, and third action. Children have to first know that something needs to happen. If they do not know or can't tell that someone needs help adults should help them learn to recognize those cues. Second they have to make the decision to help. Three factors influence that decision. Relationship, mood , and self-perception. They usually only help those they are friends with, and when they are in a good mood. Self-perception was most interesting to me. Most children will only help if they view themselves as being someone that helps. If they hear adults describe them as someone that helps, or is cooperative, their self-perception is that. They are then more willing to help someone else.