My Top 5 Favorite Concepts/ Skills for Guiding Young Children
Personal Message:
The personal message to a child is probably my number one favorite thing I have learned in this class. It has been the most beneficial in working with children. It can be used positively as well as to correct mistaken behaviors. A personal message is a wonderful way to get children to move from amoral to internalization self discipline. When giving a personal message you first reflect using a behavior, paraphrase or affective reflection. This allows the adult to really see and tell the child what they saw, letting the child know what the adult is seeing. It also give the adult time to count to 10 instead of just getting very upset, when really they might have missed something. The second part of a personal message is to react. You need to tell the child your emotion about what just happened focusing on their behavior. Third is to give the child the reason you feel that way or the reason they shouldn't be doing something. Lastly you give a rule if there is property or safety involved. Rules must be positive, so instead of saying "don't run", you would say, "you need to walk". Knowing how to give a personal message has made me feel able/ capable to handle my emotions when working with children at the same time as helping them.
Self Discipline:
Learning the difference between the four stages of self-discipline have really helped me know how to better understand where a child is coming from. Most of the time children just haven't learned to internalize what they are doing. They still need help from adults to know what they are doing is right or wrong. Amoral orientation is when they have no concept of right or wrong, like a baby. Adherence is when a child needs an adult or someone else to monitor their actions. Identification is when children adopt behaviors to someone they look up to. They start doing and behaving like this person. The problem is that if a situation arises and they don't know what that person would do they don't know what to do. Internalization is where we want to be, as adults and we want our children to get here too. When we get to this stage we internalize what is right and wrong and do what is right because it is the right thing to do. Knowing this makes me want to do everything I can to teach and guide children to internalize their actions.
Communicating about relationships:
How an adult communicates to a child has a huge impact on the child. By the way we as adult treat them tells them about the relationship we have with them. Time, warmth, and power tell these children how we feel about them. Sometime we get busy and don't mean to respond the way we do. Children don't have the concept of time we do. They need to know that we care about what they are doing, so if we take even just a few minutes to let them know we are listening and that they are important it will have a great effect on them. Warmth has to do with our non verbal cues towards them, our facial expressions and vocal characteristics not just our words. We may mean to say something nice but if it comes out the wrong way it could hurt a child's feelings. Adults have power over almost every aspect of a child's learning, but knowing that we need to look at how we are treating them and asking them to do things.
Reflections:
Behavior reflections and paraphrase reflections are good tools for teachers to use to let children know you are listening and paying attention to what is going on in their world. A behavior reflections is when we as teachers tell the child what we see them doing. This also helps them put words to what they are doing. Paraphrase reflections are statements of what a child has just told you. They know you are listening to what they have to say. It also helps when you may misunderstand what a child has told you. You can retell what you heard and if you are wrong they will let you know and tell you again. These reflections can be part in many different ways of talking to children and gives teachers and children the power to understand each other.
Consequences:
Positive, natural, logical, and unrelated are all consequences which teachers use. Some are better than others and each help children learn get the the internalization self-discipline stage. Teachers should use positive and natural consequences. Natural consequence don't need teacher intervention, children learn that when they do something, something bad might happen and no one else has anything to do with it, it was just what they did. Positive consequence are good because who doesn't like someone saying something nice to them. Logical consequences should also be used when the other two don't fit in. When a child does something wrong they can do it over again, rehearsal, do something to make it better, restitution, or have a loss of privilege. The consequences that should be used least of all are unrelated consequences. These consequences don't have anything to do with their action. Because it is different than their action teachers need to make sure that they have the same timing, such as, you don't get to go to centers until you hang up your coat.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Blog Reflection #4
Chapter 11: Fostering Self-Discipline in Children: Implementing Solutions and Consequences
Consequences:
It has been very helpful for me to learn the difference between consequences that increase desirable behaviors and consequences that reduce mistaken behaviors. When I first read these two titles I was very confused and thought they were the same thing. Reading more carefully through them it has really helped me know the difference and better ways to help children learn to behave. Positive consequences were something I took for granted. I have always been positive to children but learning to use it in a positive personal message. It is very important for children to hear an adult being positive with them. When they hear a positive personal message it reminds them of the rules and they have more of a desire to keep up the good behavior.
Inhibiting consequences are better consequences than punishments. Punishments are pretty much just getting mad at a child but not really teaching them what is wrong with their behavior. Inhibiting consequences are actions that help children recognize how their behavior is affecting themselves or others. Natural consequences, logical consequences and unrelated consequences are the different types of inhibiting consequences to use. Natural consequences are best because children learn without adult intervention. Logical consequences are next to use using either rehearsal, restitution or temporary loss of privilege. Unrelated consequences are not the best to use and if you do they should be linked in time to what has happened.
Chapter 12: Handling Children's Aggressive Behavior
Types of Aggression:
Accidental aggression, Expressive aggression, Instrumental aggression, and Hostile aggression are the different types of aggressive behavior. Most aggressive behavior is accidental, where children hurt someone on accident. Expressive aggression is aggression that is also accidental but happens because they are enjoying swinging something or some type of motion that ends up hurting someone else. Instrumental aggression happens when a child really wants or is defending something and their actions end up hurting someone else. Hostile aggression is when a child hurts to inflict pain on someone else. Knowing these different types of aggressive behavior lets you know how to better help reduce the aggressive behavior.
Assertiveness Versus Aggression:
Assertiveness is something we want our children to become. As they are getting there sometimes it is hard to tell if they are being aggressive or assertive. When watching children interact with each other you have to be aware of their behaviors before you say if they are being aggressive or assertive. Assertive children do not give in to unreasonable demands, stand up for themselves, accept disagreements, and try to solve conflicts. As children are learning to be assertive they may make mistakes and during these times, as adults, we need to support and help them learn acceptable social behaviors.
Chapter 13: Promoting Prosocial Behavior
Steps to Acting Prosocially:
There are three different steps to acting prosocially. First being aware that there is a need, second deciding, and third action. Children have to first know that something needs to happen. If they do not know or can't tell that someone needs help adults should help them learn to recognize those cues. Second they have to make the decision to help. Three factors influence that decision. Relationship, mood , and self-perception. They usually only help those they are friends with, and when they are in a good mood. Self-perception was most interesting to me. Most children will only help if they view themselves as being someone that helps. If they hear adults describe them as someone that helps, or is cooperative, their self-perception is that. They are then more willing to help someone else.
Consequences:
It has been very helpful for me to learn the difference between consequences that increase desirable behaviors and consequences that reduce mistaken behaviors. When I first read these two titles I was very confused and thought they were the same thing. Reading more carefully through them it has really helped me know the difference and better ways to help children learn to behave. Positive consequences were something I took for granted. I have always been positive to children but learning to use it in a positive personal message. It is very important for children to hear an adult being positive with them. When they hear a positive personal message it reminds them of the rules and they have more of a desire to keep up the good behavior.
Inhibiting consequences are better consequences than punishments. Punishments are pretty much just getting mad at a child but not really teaching them what is wrong with their behavior. Inhibiting consequences are actions that help children recognize how their behavior is affecting themselves or others. Natural consequences, logical consequences and unrelated consequences are the different types of inhibiting consequences to use. Natural consequences are best because children learn without adult intervention. Logical consequences are next to use using either rehearsal, restitution or temporary loss of privilege. Unrelated consequences are not the best to use and if you do they should be linked in time to what has happened.
Chapter 12: Handling Children's Aggressive Behavior
Types of Aggression:
Accidental aggression, Expressive aggression, Instrumental aggression, and Hostile aggression are the different types of aggressive behavior. Most aggressive behavior is accidental, where children hurt someone on accident. Expressive aggression is aggression that is also accidental but happens because they are enjoying swinging something or some type of motion that ends up hurting someone else. Instrumental aggression happens when a child really wants or is defending something and their actions end up hurting someone else. Hostile aggression is when a child hurts to inflict pain on someone else. Knowing these different types of aggressive behavior lets you know how to better help reduce the aggressive behavior.
Assertiveness Versus Aggression:
Assertiveness is something we want our children to become. As they are getting there sometimes it is hard to tell if they are being aggressive or assertive. When watching children interact with each other you have to be aware of their behaviors before you say if they are being aggressive or assertive. Assertive children do not give in to unreasonable demands, stand up for themselves, accept disagreements, and try to solve conflicts. As children are learning to be assertive they may make mistakes and during these times, as adults, we need to support and help them learn acceptable social behaviors.
Chapter 13: Promoting Prosocial Behavior
Steps to Acting Prosocially:
There are three different steps to acting prosocially. First being aware that there is a need, second deciding, and third action. Children have to first know that something needs to happen. If they do not know or can't tell that someone needs help adults should help them learn to recognize those cues. Second they have to make the decision to help. Three factors influence that decision. Relationship, mood , and self-perception. They usually only help those they are friends with, and when they are in a good mood. Self-perception was most interesting to me. Most children will only help if they view themselves as being someone that helps. If they hear adults describe them as someone that helps, or is cooperative, their self-perception is that. They are then more willing to help someone else.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Reflection #3
It's really hard to choose just two subjects in each chapter which I liked the most. these three chapters have been very informative and enjoyable for me to learn. Each chapter has so many important topics that foster children's learning and behavior and friendship that I will be able to be a better facilitator and help children to rely on themselves.
Chapter 8
Friendship Selection:
Children choose friends by the following: physical appearance, race, gender, age, behavior characteristics, play behaviors, and attitudes. I thought it was interesting to read that children gravitate more towards other children that look like themselves. They want a friend that they think are beautiful. Adults play a part in if children include children of other races. If they know their parents are accepting of other races they are more willing to play with a child of a different race. I found it funny that by age 2 girls are already choosing girls to play with but boys not until 3 but even then it's not set until age 5. Children also choose other children of their same age to be friends with unless their is a child who they are able to interact with easier of a different age. Behavior characteristics was interesting to me. In this section it talked about how children choose friends who have similar behaviors as them, such as both have a stamp collection. It also sad that some become friends with those who have an attribute that they lack. Children don't choose friend that are opposite of them, yet this is what I thought when I first read it. I learned it's more that they have found more similarities than differences in one another. Children who play similarly also like to play together. Attitude is also a factor in a child's selection in friendship. Children who may not have similarities in many area may have like attitudes and because of this they become friends.
Knowing that children are going to make their own friendship choices and are going to make them better than I could make for them give me a little more peace of mind. I know I can't go in a force a child to play with someone else, I can't make one child like another just because I think they would be good friends. I will need to make sure that I can be open minded and let the process develop on its own.
Unsuccessful Types of Peer Interactions:
Even though children choose their friendships there are some who get left behind. Peer neglected children and peer rejected children. As adults we need to watch for children who fall under either of these categories. Peer neglected children usually stay out of the play. They aren't less skilled socially they may just feel that they are and don't feel comfortable in play with others. They may not know how to enter play or get someone else to play with them. Peer rejected children can be put into one of two types, rejected-withdrawn and rejected-aggressive. Rejected-withdrawn children are usually the children being bullied. They are socially awkward and don't have the self esteem needed to ask to join in play. Rejected-aggressive children are the opposite of rejected-withdrawn, they are usually the bullies. They try to dominate the play and are critical of other and uncooperative. They usually do not understand that the other children do not want to play with them because of what they are doing, the child thinks it's the others fault.
Chapter 9
Structuring Space and Materials:
One of the most informative topics in this chapter was structuring the environment. Although I won't talk about all the areas of structuring the environment I will touch on a few. I had never thought about sound in a classroom, it had always been one of those things that I have taken for granted. I loved the idea that was given in class to put quilts on the walls. It adds softness to the room but mostly it takes away the sound bouncing off the walls and disrupting learning. Also how you arrange furniture and equipment can make a huge difference on how well a child can learn. They need spaces that they can learn as a large group, as a small groups, and also be able to go to different centers and focus on those centers, they also need to have a private space in which they can escape and feel comfortable.
Pitfalls to Avoid:
There are many pitfalls to avoid. Some of the ones I want to focus on are: adhering rigidly to the plan, planning inadequately, and making too many changes at once. I chose these three because these are the ones that I can see myself doing if I'm not careful. It would be so easy to see something you don't like and just change it and do what ever you like with your classroom and think that the kids aren't going to care. Really they will notice and it will probably have an effect on their learning. Children should be an active part in choosing new or changing things in their classroom. Plan with your children what should go where, and tape it out to make sure it will work before you actually move heavy objects. Adhering rigidly to the plan is also something that would be easy to fall into. As I've written lesson plans I have in my head how things are suppose to go but when you get to do the lesson it turns out completely different. As a teacher you have to be able to be flexible and do what is in the child's best interest. If they need more time and want to keep exploring, let them. If they are done and don't want to do it, don't force them. The most important thing is to do what is in the child's best interest.
Chapter 10:
Out of all the chapters so far this is my favorite. There is just so much in here for a teacher, or parent to learn how to help and talk to children. It helped me understand so much more where a child is coming from. It has helped me get on there level and try to see the situation from there level.
Self-Discipline:
Amoral Orientation are children who have no concept of right or wrong. Adherence are children who need to be told and have help in doing what is right. Identification is when a child identifies with someone they admire and imitate their self-discipline. Internalization is when someone can make right choices on their own, they are able of self-regulation. Knowing these stages in self-discipline has helped me to know where children are at. I have always wondered why some children have to have me tell them over and over again not to do something. Now I know that they were not at the development stage to do it on their own and that I was going about not having them do it all wrong. I am so glad to have learned this and as I look at children and watch their behavior and their responses to adults I can figure how best to create my personal message to them.
Personal Message:
In using a personal message I love that there is a format for me to use that helps children get to the internalization stage of self-discipline. The 4 R's will help me know mainly what to say so a child knows that I really do want to understand and that I care about what is going on with them. It will help me to first think about what is going on and to formulate in my mind how best to help them solve their own problems. I like how personal message puts the outcome on themselves instead of me as a teacher. I am just there to facilitate that they learn how to do things for themselves.
Chapter 8
Friendship Selection:
Children choose friends by the following: physical appearance, race, gender, age, behavior characteristics, play behaviors, and attitudes. I thought it was interesting to read that children gravitate more towards other children that look like themselves. They want a friend that they think are beautiful. Adults play a part in if children include children of other races. If they know their parents are accepting of other races they are more willing to play with a child of a different race. I found it funny that by age 2 girls are already choosing girls to play with but boys not until 3 but even then it's not set until age 5. Children also choose other children of their same age to be friends with unless their is a child who they are able to interact with easier of a different age. Behavior characteristics was interesting to me. In this section it talked about how children choose friends who have similar behaviors as them, such as both have a stamp collection. It also sad that some become friends with those who have an attribute that they lack. Children don't choose friend that are opposite of them, yet this is what I thought when I first read it. I learned it's more that they have found more similarities than differences in one another. Children who play similarly also like to play together. Attitude is also a factor in a child's selection in friendship. Children who may not have similarities in many area may have like attitudes and because of this they become friends.
Knowing that children are going to make their own friendship choices and are going to make them better than I could make for them give me a little more peace of mind. I know I can't go in a force a child to play with someone else, I can't make one child like another just because I think they would be good friends. I will need to make sure that I can be open minded and let the process develop on its own.
Unsuccessful Types of Peer Interactions:
Even though children choose their friendships there are some who get left behind. Peer neglected children and peer rejected children. As adults we need to watch for children who fall under either of these categories. Peer neglected children usually stay out of the play. They aren't less skilled socially they may just feel that they are and don't feel comfortable in play with others. They may not know how to enter play or get someone else to play with them. Peer rejected children can be put into one of two types, rejected-withdrawn and rejected-aggressive. Rejected-withdrawn children are usually the children being bullied. They are socially awkward and don't have the self esteem needed to ask to join in play. Rejected-aggressive children are the opposite of rejected-withdrawn, they are usually the bullies. They try to dominate the play and are critical of other and uncooperative. They usually do not understand that the other children do not want to play with them because of what they are doing, the child thinks it's the others fault.
Chapter 9
Structuring Space and Materials:
One of the most informative topics in this chapter was structuring the environment. Although I won't talk about all the areas of structuring the environment I will touch on a few. I had never thought about sound in a classroom, it had always been one of those things that I have taken for granted. I loved the idea that was given in class to put quilts on the walls. It adds softness to the room but mostly it takes away the sound bouncing off the walls and disrupting learning. Also how you arrange furniture and equipment can make a huge difference on how well a child can learn. They need spaces that they can learn as a large group, as a small groups, and also be able to go to different centers and focus on those centers, they also need to have a private space in which they can escape and feel comfortable.
Pitfalls to Avoid:
There are many pitfalls to avoid. Some of the ones I want to focus on are: adhering rigidly to the plan, planning inadequately, and making too many changes at once. I chose these three because these are the ones that I can see myself doing if I'm not careful. It would be so easy to see something you don't like and just change it and do what ever you like with your classroom and think that the kids aren't going to care. Really they will notice and it will probably have an effect on their learning. Children should be an active part in choosing new or changing things in their classroom. Plan with your children what should go where, and tape it out to make sure it will work before you actually move heavy objects. Adhering rigidly to the plan is also something that would be easy to fall into. As I've written lesson plans I have in my head how things are suppose to go but when you get to do the lesson it turns out completely different. As a teacher you have to be able to be flexible and do what is in the child's best interest. If they need more time and want to keep exploring, let them. If they are done and don't want to do it, don't force them. The most important thing is to do what is in the child's best interest.
Chapter 10:
Out of all the chapters so far this is my favorite. There is just so much in here for a teacher, or parent to learn how to help and talk to children. It helped me understand so much more where a child is coming from. It has helped me get on there level and try to see the situation from there level.
Self-Discipline:
Amoral Orientation are children who have no concept of right or wrong. Adherence are children who need to be told and have help in doing what is right. Identification is when a child identifies with someone they admire and imitate their self-discipline. Internalization is when someone can make right choices on their own, they are able of self-regulation. Knowing these stages in self-discipline has helped me to know where children are at. I have always wondered why some children have to have me tell them over and over again not to do something. Now I know that they were not at the development stage to do it on their own and that I was going about not having them do it all wrong. I am so glad to have learned this and as I look at children and watch their behavior and their responses to adults I can figure how best to create my personal message to them.
Personal Message:
In using a personal message I love that there is a format for me to use that helps children get to the internalization stage of self-discipline. The 4 R's will help me know mainly what to say so a child knows that I really do want to understand and that I care about what is going on with them. It will help me to first think about what is going on and to formulate in my mind how best to help them solve their own problems. I like how personal message puts the outcome on themselves instead of me as a teacher. I am just there to facilitate that they learn how to do things for themselves.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Reflection #2
When asked to do this assignment we were told to include how this information can help us in our field experience. Well... I will use this information in my field experience but I think I will use it a lot more in my home experience with my children. My favorite part in each chapter is the "skills" area. It is very informative to me to know how to best approach a topic to help children grow in whatever area we are talking about.
Chapter 4: Promoting Children's Developing Sense of Self Through Verbal Communication
1- Positive & Negative Verbal Environment and its Impact on Children: It was really interesting to me that what a child thinks of how an adult is acting and what an adult thinks of the way they are acting, or meaning to act, can sometimes be so different. It talks about when an adult is hurried or busy and so doesn't show a child interest in something they may be saying. When this happens to a child they feel as though they aren't worth that adults time and that they aren't important. I thinks most times, not always, adults don't really mean for the children in their care to feel this way. Usually they really are just trying to get something done. But what we as adult need to remember is that that IS how the child is going to interpret how we are acting. Even if we don't mean for it to be that way, that is the way the feel about it. I know that we aren't able to be completely there at all times for our children but we do owe them the respect of asking them nicely, by looking in their eyes on their level, to wait until we are done with whatever we are doing then we can listen to what they have to say. And after telling them this, actually going to them once we are done.
2- Using Conversations to Support Children's Development of Sense of Self and Social Understanding and to Build the Relationship: Children need to know that they are important to the adults around them. They feel that they are important when we carry on conversations with them. It says in our book "because adults represent authority figures, this clear signal of the adults respect, caring, and acceptance conveys a powerful message to children about their value." I have never looked at it that way before. Children do look up to the adults around them and when we give them the attention they need and allow them to talk to us and actually be interested in what they have to say, it makes them feel important. I enjoyed learning about the conversation stoppers. One in particular got my attention, approaches adult with a problem. I have been working on this one in my house and I will be the first to admit I have missed A LOT of teaching opportunities. Sometimes it is easier just to fix the problem but it doesn't really help solve the problem. My children fight a lot, as I'm sure most siblings do, but one thing they do is take things away from each other, than retaliate by hitting or yelling at each other. Sometimes their emotions of being so frustrated go through the roof. I found myself just stepping in and taking the toy away and separating them, but that wasn't solving anything. Yes it may have stopped the yelling for the time being but it would start up again later. So lately I've been trying to get them to talk to each other about their problems. When my daughter take her brothers toy and he comes to me screaming. I first ask him how he is feeling, then I ask him to tell his sister that (in a nice way). When he talks to his sister about how he feels when she does that and if he can please have the toy back she is much more willing to give it back to him.
Chapter 5: Supporting Children's Emotional Development
1- Individual Variations in Children's Expressive Styles: Adults can't think of all children the same. Just as they all have their own way of doing things and learning abilities, they also have their own way of showing and dealing with emotions. Each child has a different emotional tenor, or how they handle emotional events. They differ in how often they show emotions, how intense those emotions are, how long they last, how quickly they are activated and if they are dominated by primary or mixed emotions. Some of our children may get madder faster than other, but that doesn't mean we dismiss the one who doesn't get mad easy saying "oh well your never mad you'll be fine", and the same for the child who gets mad fast. We don't say "oh well your always mad, that's just the way it is". We need to treat each child individually and respect each one for their differences and help each one know and learn how to control and manage their emotions.
2- Appropriate ways of responding to children's emotions: When my daughter doesn't like what is going on or isn't getting what she wants, she sometimes breaks down crying. When she starts crying I have to go to and tell her "Zoe, I need you to use your words and tell me what's wrong". For the most part she tells me why she is mad or sad and we are able to resolve the situation. It is much easier to talk to a child about their emotions than it is to dismiss, ignore or any of the other pitfalls. If you are able to help them through and understand their emotions they will be much better off.
Chapter 6: Supporting Children in Stressful Situations
1- What Adults can do to Help Children Manage Stress: I think the most important aspect of helping children with stress is knowing what your doing. You need to think before you talk, and know the situation completely before giving advice. There can be so much to a problem that we looking at it from a distance, usually don't get the full picture. We need to be mindful to those children as well as their families and be sure that what we do say and do doesn't cause more harm than help.
2- Pitfalls to Avoid: There are many pitfalls that you can do when trying to help children cope with stress. Some that I found interesting the skewed and inappropriate responses, and making a perfunctory diagnosis of a child's behavior. I'll start with skewed and inappropriate responses. This talked about how most of the time teachers tend to find the "problem" child and find out what the problem is and try to help fix it. They do this for the child but also because it is causing the teacher stress because that child is acting out. They end up forgetting about the child who is very quiet and kept to themselves because he/she is not causing the teacher any trouble. We need to remember that it's not always about ourselves and what makes us most comfortable. We need to be mindful of all our children and their behavior. The second pitfall is making a perfunctory diagnosis of a child's behavior. This is when a child is doing something bad and we automatically label it as being because of what ever is happening at home. We tend to forget that this problem might be because of something else as well. We can't always label what a child does and give it an excuse. We need to still help our children cope and find solutions to behaviors.
Chapter 7: Enhancing Play
1- Categories of Social Participation: The categories of social participation are 1)Unoccupied behavior 2)Onlooker 3)Solitary play 4)Parallel activity 5)Associative play 6)Cooperative or organized supplementary play. Each of these categories is important. A child by them selves not really doing anything is ok to be by them selves. A child who is just watching the other children may be getting information for later play. Sometimes children want to play by themselves and sometimes they want to play together. Each category is important to let a child develop into. So when I you see a child just watching the other children you don't need to make them play if they aren't ready.
2- Dramatic play: I found it very interesting to learn about the pragmatist and fantasizer. I really didn't know that there were different styles in which children play imaginatively. The fantasizer is completely into the imaginary play while the pragmatist is distracted with what is going on around them. After learning this it give me a little more perspective to those children who really want to keep playing. I used to think that, well everyone else is done you should be too. But really each child is different and I need to remember that.
Chapter 4: Promoting Children's Developing Sense of Self Through Verbal Communication
1- Positive & Negative Verbal Environment and its Impact on Children: It was really interesting to me that what a child thinks of how an adult is acting and what an adult thinks of the way they are acting, or meaning to act, can sometimes be so different. It talks about when an adult is hurried or busy and so doesn't show a child interest in something they may be saying. When this happens to a child they feel as though they aren't worth that adults time and that they aren't important. I thinks most times, not always, adults don't really mean for the children in their care to feel this way. Usually they really are just trying to get something done. But what we as adult need to remember is that that IS how the child is going to interpret how we are acting. Even if we don't mean for it to be that way, that is the way the feel about it. I know that we aren't able to be completely there at all times for our children but we do owe them the respect of asking them nicely, by looking in their eyes on their level, to wait until we are done with whatever we are doing then we can listen to what they have to say. And after telling them this, actually going to them once we are done.
2- Using Conversations to Support Children's Development of Sense of Self and Social Understanding and to Build the Relationship: Children need to know that they are important to the adults around them. They feel that they are important when we carry on conversations with them. It says in our book "because adults represent authority figures, this clear signal of the adults respect, caring, and acceptance conveys a powerful message to children about their value." I have never looked at it that way before. Children do look up to the adults around them and when we give them the attention they need and allow them to talk to us and actually be interested in what they have to say, it makes them feel important. I enjoyed learning about the conversation stoppers. One in particular got my attention, approaches adult with a problem. I have been working on this one in my house and I will be the first to admit I have missed A LOT of teaching opportunities. Sometimes it is easier just to fix the problem but it doesn't really help solve the problem. My children fight a lot, as I'm sure most siblings do, but one thing they do is take things away from each other, than retaliate by hitting or yelling at each other. Sometimes their emotions of being so frustrated go through the roof. I found myself just stepping in and taking the toy away and separating them, but that wasn't solving anything. Yes it may have stopped the yelling for the time being but it would start up again later. So lately I've been trying to get them to talk to each other about their problems. When my daughter take her brothers toy and he comes to me screaming. I first ask him how he is feeling, then I ask him to tell his sister that (in a nice way). When he talks to his sister about how he feels when she does that and if he can please have the toy back she is much more willing to give it back to him.
Chapter 5: Supporting Children's Emotional Development
1- Individual Variations in Children's Expressive Styles: Adults can't think of all children the same. Just as they all have their own way of doing things and learning abilities, they also have their own way of showing and dealing with emotions. Each child has a different emotional tenor, or how they handle emotional events. They differ in how often they show emotions, how intense those emotions are, how long they last, how quickly they are activated and if they are dominated by primary or mixed emotions. Some of our children may get madder faster than other, but that doesn't mean we dismiss the one who doesn't get mad easy saying "oh well your never mad you'll be fine", and the same for the child who gets mad fast. We don't say "oh well your always mad, that's just the way it is". We need to treat each child individually and respect each one for their differences and help each one know and learn how to control and manage their emotions.
2- Appropriate ways of responding to children's emotions: When my daughter doesn't like what is going on or isn't getting what she wants, she sometimes breaks down crying. When she starts crying I have to go to and tell her "Zoe, I need you to use your words and tell me what's wrong". For the most part she tells me why she is mad or sad and we are able to resolve the situation. It is much easier to talk to a child about their emotions than it is to dismiss, ignore or any of the other pitfalls. If you are able to help them through and understand their emotions they will be much better off.
Chapter 6: Supporting Children in Stressful Situations
1- What Adults can do to Help Children Manage Stress: I think the most important aspect of helping children with stress is knowing what your doing. You need to think before you talk, and know the situation completely before giving advice. There can be so much to a problem that we looking at it from a distance, usually don't get the full picture. We need to be mindful to those children as well as their families and be sure that what we do say and do doesn't cause more harm than help.
2- Pitfalls to Avoid: There are many pitfalls that you can do when trying to help children cope with stress. Some that I found interesting the skewed and inappropriate responses, and making a perfunctory diagnosis of a child's behavior. I'll start with skewed and inappropriate responses. This talked about how most of the time teachers tend to find the "problem" child and find out what the problem is and try to help fix it. They do this for the child but also because it is causing the teacher stress because that child is acting out. They end up forgetting about the child who is very quiet and kept to themselves because he/she is not causing the teacher any trouble. We need to remember that it's not always about ourselves and what makes us most comfortable. We need to be mindful of all our children and their behavior. The second pitfall is making a perfunctory diagnosis of a child's behavior. This is when a child is doing something bad and we automatically label it as being because of what ever is happening at home. We tend to forget that this problem might be because of something else as well. We can't always label what a child does and give it an excuse. We need to still help our children cope and find solutions to behaviors.
Chapter 7: Enhancing Play
1- Categories of Social Participation: The categories of social participation are 1)Unoccupied behavior 2)Onlooker 3)Solitary play 4)Parallel activity 5)Associative play 6)Cooperative or organized supplementary play. Each of these categories is important. A child by them selves not really doing anything is ok to be by them selves. A child who is just watching the other children may be getting information for later play. Sometimes children want to play by themselves and sometimes they want to play together. Each category is important to let a child develop into. So when I you see a child just watching the other children you don't need to make them play if they aren't ready.
2- Dramatic play: I found it very interesting to learn about the pragmatist and fantasizer. I really didn't know that there were different styles in which children play imaginatively. The fantasizer is completely into the imaginary play while the pragmatist is distracted with what is going on around them. After learning this it give me a little more perspective to those children who really want to keep playing. I used to think that, well everyone else is done you should be too. But really each child is different and I need to remember that.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Reflection #1
Making a difference in children's lives & building positive relationships through nonverbal communication are the two topics we have started learning about in my child guidance class. These two topics have been so interesting to me to learn about and have taught me things I'm excited to implement into how I teach my kids, and later others. Our first chapter "Making a Difference in Children's Lives" talked about how children have different learning styles. I never realized how much of an impact a child's style changes their learning. They may view what you are asking them to do differently depending on their style of learning. As I was learning about how styles effect children's learning it made me reflect upon my son (6) and how I teach him. I realized that even though I know him well I don't really know what way he learns best. The way I have been teaching him may not have been/ be the best way to teach him. Their might be another way that he would enjoy better and end up learning more.
Our second chapter we learned about was "Building Positive Relationships Through Nonverbal Communications". Just like adults children have their different spaces. Respecting children's space can determine how a child responds to you. The way you respond can have a huge impact on how a child trusts you or thinks you feel about them. If a child comes and give you a hug and you jump away because you don't feel comfortable doing that can make a child feel like you don't like them. But on the other hand if you hug them back they know you really do care. I also learned that culture has a huge role in nonverbal behaviors. The children you work with may or may not be comfortable with your teaching ways. You need to be conscious of each child you work with and their background so you aren't doing something that turns their learning off. After learning more about nonverbal communication I am able to watch myself more carefully and know how the things I am doing will effect the children I'm around.
Our second chapter we learned about was "Building Positive Relationships Through Nonverbal Communications". Just like adults children have their different spaces. Respecting children's space can determine how a child responds to you. The way you respond can have a huge impact on how a child trusts you or thinks you feel about them. If a child comes and give you a hug and you jump away because you don't feel comfortable doing that can make a child feel like you don't like them. But on the other hand if you hug them back they know you really do care. I also learned that culture has a huge role in nonverbal behaviors. The children you work with may or may not be comfortable with your teaching ways. You need to be conscious of each child you work with and their background so you aren't doing something that turns their learning off. After learning more about nonverbal communication I am able to watch myself more carefully and know how the things I am doing will effect the children I'm around.
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